Thank you for not making me quit my job.
I just had the pleasure of spending a couple of days with BMW’s new 335is. For those who haven’t heard about it yet, it’s a 335i with some more power, a bunch more torque, and an exhaust clearly designed by my hero, whoever that is.
The 335is’ exhaust is the best part. It makes the 335i’s twin-turbo in-line six sound every bit as good as a Porsche flat-six. It’s intoxicating. It’s delicious. I want its sound as my alarm clock, my cellphone ringer, and the Muzak playing in every elevator I ride in from here on out.
And it makes the 3-series – the car I’ve long since considered to be the overall best four-wheeled conveyance in the world – even better. It’s too bad the 335is comes only with two doors. Coupes are stupid, in my book, especially when they have big back seats.
Then again, if BMW made a 335is wagon, I’d have to quit my job. I would call Jean, give her my two weeks’ notice, and post a blog here saying:
“This is it, guys; it’s over. We have reached automotive nirvana, and it’s all going to be downhill from here. I don’t need to stick around for that – and you no longer need to read car magazines. Just do what I am doing: go buy a 335is wagon, and cancel your subscription. It’s been fun, but my work here is done.”
Truth is, I love my job, and I don’t want to quit. So BMW, thank you for not making a 335is wagon. Phew, that was close.